My Office

Effin PalmPilots. Notice the shiny plastic packaging that surrounds the Zire31. These Palms are encased in the most difficult plastic vault that has ever been conceived by Clemson packaging science majors. They give you a diagram on the back about how to open the package with scissors. Does it work? NO! You end up cutting your hand, throwing the contraption across the room, and shouting obscenities at the little sliver of plastic demonics that cut your hand as you were trying to open the package. You know what's worse? I had to open 8 of these fucking things. EIGHT?!? They should enclose the little black box on airplanes in this material or use them as bulet-proof vests. It's like freakin' Fort Knox to get into this thing.

Now I know what you are thinking...Why in God's name does he have EIGHT PalmPilots?? Did they happen to fall off a truck and are now being auctioned on ebay to the highest bid? Nope. Is he some lead operative for the government giving his team devices for a covert op (that's operation for those reading that aren't spy savvy)?? Not so much. The true and BORING answer is that they are a part of my Independent Research project here on USCA campus. I really wish I was a head of a covert op team...I'd have them infiltrate the local Taco Bell and disable their ability to charge me 79 damn cents every time I use my debit card to feed my addiction of the Chicken Baja Chalupa, wait, no...I'll have them add 79 cents everytime I use it. Whoa, where was I?? Oh yeah, eventually these contraptions will be handed out to students for a study that is going to measure daily hurt and reactivity. Currently I am programming the questionnaires that the students will complete using the PalmPilots. Wish me luck:)