The Apple of Discord

As I have mentioned in at least one previous post, I have an insatiable desire to learn the orgins of words and phrases in particular. The topic of this post as you can see from the title is "The Apple of Discord." My original interest for this phrase was rooted in the word Discordia, which is the Roman name of the Greek goddess Eris and part of the title of a book, Principia Discordia. After 6 degrees of Wikipedia, I found a story called the Judgement of Paris which is a background tale about the Trojan War and its origin.

In short, this chick Eris was pissed because she didn't warrant an invite to a social event of Grecian proportions. Enraged and bitter, she threw an apple into the party with the word "Kallisti" enscribed on said fruit. Translated, this word means "to the fairest" or "to the prettiest." In an argument over who got the title of "Kallisti"est, three of the more prominent female Greek goddesses Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite were bitchin' about who should get the apple. Fearful of the consequences that he would face from these three women by making this judgement, Zeus passed the buck to a mortal by the name of Paris (Orlando Bloom's character in Troy).

Now this was before the time of swimsuit and talent competitions, so Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite offered Paris many bribes to be named "the fairest of them all." Paris gave into Aphrodite's promise of the love of Helen of Sparta after snubbing Hera's offer of being King of Europe and Asia, and Athena's proposition of wisdom and skill in war. The rest is a part of the Trojan War epic.

Back to the original point of this post is that phrases like "bone of contention" or "the crux of the story" have their roots in this tale of Greek legend. My apologies for geeking out over this, but I can't help it. I am sure that the time that I spent researching this post is in profound disproportion to the outcome of replies that will follow. Yet, down the road I will be waiting to give my knowledge to some unsuspecting victim that could give a shit about Greek gods and their exploits.

Two of 2

Allison, Joey, and Laurie

Just a couple more pictures to give the world...there were plenty of goofy Polly faces but I am being censored:), instead, please enjoy funny face Robert

A Shower of Couples....(1 of 2)

This weekend my fiancee and I were honored with family, friends, coworkers, and more at the First Annual Giving of Presents to Robert and Polly. This event will continue to be held each year, ah what the hell, how about bimonthly?? The soiree was rittled with food, drinks, and embarassing as well as hilarious games in which Polly and I were asked to indicate our most anticipated "position" for the honeymoon. In an effort not to incriminate ourselves, we answered in a conservatively boring way with "Horizontally." Enjoy the pics (of the shower, not of our "position")

Paddy Tanager the Caddy Manager, yeah it rhymes, big whoop, wanna fight about it??

[Insert Stereotyped Irish Greeting Here],
just wanted to post some new pictures from St. Patrick's Day. The green beers flowed freely while the band played one song followed by a 30 minute sabaticle to adjust their amateurish light show, thankfully we were drunk and the band sucked anyway.

Cheers

Volkswagen Commercials

Don't know if any of you have seen these commercials yet, but they are hilarious. Here's one for you to check out.

Damned if you do...

And interest rates have risen again...stupid inflation. A member of the land barrons has taken a hit...the question is, "To lock, or not to lock." The mortgage on the house is dependent on the interest rate that we get and the rate has risen twice this week. Do we lock in the current interest rate, in fear of a continual ruse in interest rates...OR do we wait and gamble, hoping that the rate will fall before we close at the end of the month. After Robb enlightened me to why interest rates were rising, I don't know how good I feel about buying a Japanese car. But I really, really like my Civic. As a guy that doesn't like to take a lot of risk, I think I will lock in the rate that is current for fear of the rates rising yet again. With my luck, the rates will probably fall to a twenty-year low after we complete the final paperwork after we close.

The way economics function is a complete and utter mystery to me and the people that are able to understand how the global market, I envy. From what little I understand, it seems to me that the current global market can be likened to economic chaos theory. However instead of the butterfly and the hurricane, we can think of it in terms of consumers and recessions or stocks and affluence. Everything is interdependent. It is a domino effect of economics where a potato famine in Russia increases the price of Finnish vodka.

This can also be applied to the outcome of human behavior. Psychoanalysts such as Sigmund "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" Freud believed that maladaptive human behavior can be traced back to a developmental hang up from our childhoods. He outlined critical stages of development that, if we were to not meet that developmental milestone, we would be stuck in that particular stage until we were adults. He believed that this was the cause of neuroses in the human mind. While his views and ideas, in their application, were quite extreme (specifically in their interpretation of sexuality), I think the overall gist is probably true. I believe in the intrinsic goodness of people. I don't think that anyone is born evil, or good for that matter. However, I am not a full supporter of nurture. I think that there are innate tendencies for each person based on genetic makeup, but these tendencies do not solidify a person's future. For example, children of alcoholics may have a genetic predisposition to become alcoholics themselves, but that doesn't condemn them to a life of AA meetings and 12 step programs. And these people that use their parents as an excuse for their problems can piss off, life doesn't owe you anything because of how you were raised. It's time people started standing up and taking responsibility for themselves. (Kindly stepping down from my soapbox)

It seems like I am contradicting myself, I know. On one hand I am saying that your childhood does bear weight on your outcome as an adult, but I am also saying that you can't use what happened to you as an excuse. What I am trying to say is that nowadays, shitty things happend to a lot of people when they are growing up, some may lose a friend or a parent, some are abused and neglected, God forbid they are sexually abused, but we all make decisions on what we know is right and wrong. Just make sure you make more of the former than the latter.

My Office

Effin PalmPilots. Notice the shiny plastic packaging that surrounds the Zire31. These Palms are encased in the most difficult plastic vault that has ever been conceived by Clemson packaging science majors. They give you a diagram on the back about how to open the package with scissors. Does it work? NO! You end up cutting your hand, throwing the contraption across the room, and shouting obscenities at the little sliver of plastic demonics that cut your hand as you were trying to open the package. You know what's worse? I had to open 8 of these fucking things. EIGHT?!? They should enclose the little black box on airplanes in this material or use them as bulet-proof vests. It's like freakin' Fort Knox to get into this thing.

Now I know what you are thinking...Why in God's name does he have EIGHT PalmPilots?? Did they happen to fall off a truck and are now being auctioned on ebay to the highest bid? Nope. Is he some lead operative for the government giving his team devices for a covert op (that's operation for those reading that aren't spy savvy)?? Not so much. The true and BORING answer is that they are a part of my Independent Research project here on USCA campus. I really wish I was a head of a covert op team...I'd have them infiltrate the local Taco Bell and disable their ability to charge me 79 damn cents every time I use my debit card to feed my addiction of the Chicken Baja Chalupa, wait, no...I'll have them add 79 cents everytime I use it. Whoa, where was I?? Oh yeah, eventually these contraptions will be handed out to students for a study that is going to measure daily hurt and reactivity. Currently I am programming the questionnaires that the students will complete using the PalmPilots. Wish me luck:)

When it rains...

I love Target. In a recent post I mentioned that my fiancee and I bought (are in the process of buying) a new house. What I did not mention is that the house we are moving to is damn near walking distance to our favorite store. Right now we live a 15 minute drive from the store, but upon relocation we'll have a maximum of 5 minutes in the car.

Yesterday, my Fiancee, Polly received over 200$ in Target giftcards in addition to throngs of gifts from her coworkers at her first of several showers. This is a very fun time for the engaged couple. The women get to pick out china, linens, serving dishes, cooking utensils, etc. The list can go on and on. Men get to hold the scanner gun and shoot the UPCs at the local Bed Bath and Beyond. However, the advent of the online registry has taken some of that glory away from the guys. On our first visit to Target, Polly and I had a deal: She picked out what we wanted and I got to shoot the item with the scanner gun. Everyone was happy. Polly had control of what we got and I got to exercise my real-life, first-person shooter fantasies with the scanner as my weapon of choice. Then came http://www.Target.com/giftregistry. Now, my Fiancee checks the list at least twice a day to add new items. I have no scanner gun at home, she has an optical mouse that clicks items with deadly accuracy. Were talkin' frickin' laser beams you guys. Pottery Barn is another deal all together. There isn't a Pottery Barn for 150miles in any direction, therefore, no scanner gun for me. At least with Target I have a chance that we will go back someday to scan more gifts. I can't complain though, I am grateful that she keeps up with the things we want for our new house. Lord knows that if it was left up to me we'd end up with Ramen Noodles, an XBOX360, an oil can of Foster's in the fridge, and an egg crate in the corner of our bedroom.

Who still uses cash?

Fast food restaurants resisted, if only for a little while...Wendy's and Subway pioneered the use of the credit/debit card for their customer's convenience and it has since become commonplace for the McDonalds, Burger Kings, and Taco Bells of the country to accept this form of payment. Which brings me to Taco Bell...What gives you assholes the right to charge me .79$ each time I use my card?!? Of course I can't resist the Baja Chalupa and I am too damn lazy to take a trip to the ATM. (Random Tangent) Speaking of ATMs, I want to point something out to people that say, "I have to go get money from the ATM machine." You redundant imbecil. ATM stands for Automatic Teller Machine. So when you say, "ATM machine," you are, in fact, saying, "Automatic Teller Machine Machine." So....Stop it. That goes the same for people that order a Cheese Quesadilla. Queso in Spanish means CHEESE, there is no purpose in reiterating the fact that you want cheese...it's included in the name. Bottom line, if you want shredded cheese, grilled on a flour tortilla and folded in half, like an omlette, just say, "I want a quesadilla." You might prevent a hispanic waiter/waitress from laughing at your ignorant gringo ass behind your back. (Back to my point) Paper money is slowly becoming archaic, generations ahead of us will have no concept of the value of money because they will be raised in an age where currency is a matter of moving digital numbers around, bills will all be paid online, and shopping will be done largely on the net. I am positive about the expulsion of paper money when I think about the germs and bacteria that cash is capable of carrying. Everytime you touch a bill, you are touching every person that touched the bill before you. It's kinda like having unprotected sex. Soon we'll have to wear latex gloves when handling cash.